Never Again
by Rosie2009
Summary: Evie and Mal are at a New Year's Party when the two suffer from an interesting incident that no one counted on. When Uma and Ben get involved, it becomes a seriously wild night. Sister/best friend feels, Bal, Huma if you squint, and Jaudrey.


"Evie, I really didn't want to come to this."

"M, you're the queen, and it's your party. It's kind of your job to show up," Evie replied, her hand resting on the small of Mal's back as she gently guided the shorter girl in the loud, noisy room.

They were currently in attendance of the New Year's Party that Mal had deemed necessary to take place. However, despite Mal's part in planning the party, she really didn't want to attend. She wanted everyone to be able to enjoy the party, but she didn't actually want to be social herself.

Before Evie had time to even start to push the both of them in the midst of the crowd, Mal spun around to face Evie. The bluenette accidentally bumped into the faerie gently, and Evie paused to look down at the girl standing directly before her. Mal had suddenly mustered the queenliest posture and smile that she could manage as she eyed Evie regally.

"Genevieve Grimhilde, I hereby pronounce you-"

"No."

"Why not?" Mal whined, and Evie took her arms, spinning her around to face the crowd.

"Because you've already tried to make me Queen for a Day six times this week," Evie replied simply, continuing in her guiding of Mal.

"There's Ben," Evie quickly pointed out, and Mal smiled slightly at the sight of her husband. Evie grinned, pleased that she could distract the faerie from her road of belligerence.

"Why don't you go see him, and I'll catch up to you in a few? I know that you'll be fine. It's just that initial crowd jitters. You always get over it in five minutes," Evie informed her easily, cradling the other girl's cheek in her hand, stroking it with her thumb.

Mal sighed, knowing that Evie was right. It was just that beginning nervousness that was always difficult for her to bear. Mal breathed deeply, exhaling fully before offering Evie a smile, leaning into her best friend's touch.

"Thank you, Evie."

"You're welcome. Now, go partay," Evie winked and Mal chuckled at her before turning to go.

"Love ya!" Mal called, and Evie beamed back at her.

"Love you, too!"

Evie watched as Mal walked away through the crowd to go and see Ben. Once she saw that Mal had made it to her husband okay, she smiled sweetly, turning and making her way over toward the bar.

Evie finally pushed over to the bar and she stood before it carefully, folding her hands in front of her sweetly.

"Can I have some iced tea, please?" Evie ordered kindly, looking at the bartender there. He seemed to be overly focused on his phone, so Evie averted her gaze for a moment, thinking she might try again in a few moments as she actually allowed herself to look at the party.

Evie looked around absentmindedly, taking in the entire party scene as she spotted Mal dancing with Ben in the midst of all of the people. She was really glad that Mal seemed to be fine now. Evie smiled lovingly at their sweetness as Ben leaned in close to Mal's ear before pressing his nose against her own. Those two really were her favorite couple in the midst of all of her friends.

"Grab yourself one over there," the bartender finally instructed as he pulled her from her thoughts, gesturing in a vague direction as he dedicated most of his time to watching his phone. Despite that, Evie was sure to give him an especially sweet smile as she approached the glasses of tea. She saw two seemingly separated groups of tea, and she shrugged, taking a drink confidently.

"Thank you very much, sir," Evie told him, taking a huge swig of the liquid and not even noticing as he glanced up and gaped at her in pure shock.

The first thing that hit her was that it certainly didn't taste like an iced tea at all. It was more like coke with some really sour-tasting ingredients that didn't mix well at all in Evie's stomach as soon as it went down.

However, Evie kept her face perfectly neutral and even mustered a smile as she looked at the man.

"It's pretty good," Evie lied, attempting desperately to keep her face from expressing any of her true emotions surrounding the drink.

"Really?" he asked her, eyeing her with a disbelieving gaze as he appeared to be very uncomfortable.

"Of course," Evie effortlessly replied, taking another large sip of the stuff in hopes that she could down it quickly. Evie blinked a few times, suddenly feeling terribly dizzy. It must have been the large swallow coupled with the increasingly sick, odd feeling in her guts.

He watched Evie carefully, and despite how absolutely disgusting the drink was, Evie felt that she needed to at least come close to finishing it, since it was only polite and he surely put a lot of work into making the drink. Evie blearily gazed in Mal's direction as she took another big gulp.

Evie guzzled what was left in the glass and she suddenly felt this strangely bubbly sensation in her stomach as she shook her head slowly, taking it in.

"Ma'am, are you feeling okay?" the bartender questioned carefully, and Evie offered him barely a glance as her gaze fell.

Evie stared at the wood of the bar for a moment, trying to recollect herself. However, after a moment, she couldn't remember what in the world that she was even trying to collect herself from.

She didn't stop looking at the wood, though, and she wasn't sure how long she had been looking at it before she suddenly noticed that a dark spot in the wood looked strangely a lot like Maleficent's horns. Evie giggled, grinning widely as she thought of Mal's mother. Evie then quickly looked up, remembering her best friend as she looked all around.

Evie almost felt like crying when she realized that she couldn't see Mal anywhere, but she quickly grew infinitely more cheerful once she saw Mal not too far away talking to Audrey.

Evie then looked over to the bartender quickly, a huge smile on her face in the midst of her pure joy in seeing Mal, one of her most favorite people.

"That's my best friend!" Evie suddenly announced in a whisper, and the bartender leaned back away from her. Evie furrowed her brow, but mostly remained happy. He almost acted as if Evie was being loud. Of course, that was ridiculous. After all, Evie was most assuredly whispering.

"Okay," he replied carefully, and Evie nodded quickly, pointing at the faerie.

"Don't tell nobody, though! I don't want them to steal her! She's mine!" Evie informed the man, and he just watched her with a strange look on his face.

"But I can introduce you to her!" Evie cheerfully told the bartender and offered him an enormous smile as Evie turned more fully toward her sister. Evie put her hands on either side of her mouth, barely resisting the urge to laugh at the oddness of the entire gesture. Who seriously thought that putting one's hands on the sides of their mouth? It just looked completely stupid.

"Mal?! Mal?!" Evie called the purple-haired girl and was very disappointed when she realized that Mal must not have been able to hear her beckoning. Evie pursed her lips as she considered what she could do to get Mal's attention. Suddenly, a really great idea came to mind as she looked at the bar before her.

Evie stood up, putting her knee on the barstool as she hoisted her other leg onto the surface before her. Evie then very carefully stood up on the bar and looked around as she suddenly realized that she completely forgot what she was about to do. Evie brought her gaze down as she noticed that she was on an elevated surface.

"Ooh, a stage!" Evie cried and she proudly did her best position, knowing the perfect song that she was going to perform for all of the people that were around to see her do her great show.

"_Let me tell you something you can really trust_-"

…

"Hey, Thorn," Mal greeted, raising her voice slightly over the noise in the room, and Audrey turned to face her. Immediately, the pink princess' face lit up in a grin as she hugged the other girl tightly. Mal wrapped an arm around Audrey firmly, squeezing her fondly before pulling away.

"Hey!" Audrey reciprocated her greeting without hesitation, and Mal shared a smile with her.

"So, are you having any fun?" Mal asked, and Audrey nodded emphatically.

"Yeah! It's really great," Audrey complimented with a somewhat awkward look on her face. Mal eyed her sympathetically, knowing that the party scene had been difficult for Audrey to get back into after the Queen of Mean drama.

"Have you danced yet?" Mal asked her, and Audrey shrugged, a sudden blush dusting her cheeks as she avoided Mal's gaze. Mal raised an eyebrow and suddenly noticed how Audrey's outfit and hair was slightly less than perfect and her lipstick was smeared.

"Let me clarify myself: have you engaged in the spit-swap polka?" Mal questioned, and Audrey immediately went even more red if it was humanly possible.

"Audrey…"

"Yes, I have. How is it obvious?" Audrey embarrassedly demanded, and Mal just chuckled, shaking her head.

"Something about your lipstick being all around your lips but not on them." Audrey's eyes went wide in mortification as she wiped at her mouth with a napkin taken from the table just behind her.

"So, we're getting started early before twelve o'clock, huh? Whose face did you go sucking?" Mal asked with a no-nonsense tone, and despite Audrey's tight-lipped stance, her glance betrayed her as it lingered on a particular former thief.

Mal's lips curled into a wicked grin as she opened her mouth to say something snarky to the princess, but suddenly, a very familiar voice drifted to her ears. Mal turned around, looking to where she had left her best friend by the bar to get something to drink.

"_Let me tell you something you can really trust, don't go drinking any of this stuff_!"

Evie was currently standing on top of the bar in front of absolutely everyone at the party, starting into some ridiculous random song as she did all kinds of weird movements and began something that looked like a poorly executed dance routine.

"What is she doing?!" Audrey demanded, pulling Mal from her disturbed staring.

"I don't know, but I'm about to find out," Mal muttered under her breath before shaking her head, pushing past everyone around as she tried to get to her best friend.

"_There's a party goin' down this Summer night, and the DJ's slayin' it all night_!" Evie pointed at the person controlling the playlist for that night. He raised an eyebrow and lowered his sunglasses as he looked at the bluenette.

Mal surged through the crowd of people, trying to get Evie's attention.

"_You wanna be cool? Let me show you how_!"

"Evie, what are you doing?!"

"_Need to break the rules, I could show you how_!"

"_And once you catch this feeling- hee, hee- yeah, once you catch this feeling, you're gonna be chillin', chillin'… Like a filling_!" Evie then broke down into hysterical laughter as she very ridiculously started to stumble in what Mal assumed was a dance.

Mal finally pushed through the last row of people, and she quickly approached the bar, dodging Evie's legs as she tried to get the other girl's attention.

"What flavor is the filling even?" Evie questioned between laughs.

"E? E?!" Mal called, squeezing Evie's leg to get her to look down. Evie stopped in her dancing quickly, looking around as she tried to spot whoever was talking to her. She finally looked down to the hand that was touching her leg before following the arm to the person attached.

Her face then lit up in what was quite possibly the dopiest grin that Mal had ever seen.

"Hi, you!" Evie cried loudly as she reached down for Mal.

"C'mon, get down. What are you doing up there?" Mal asked, trying to understand what had went through her sister's head that brought her to this point. Mal took the bluenette's hands and Evie smiled at her.

"I was being a Broadway actress on the stage!"

"Evie, this is a counter."

"Potato, potatoh," Evie mumbled under her breath, allowing Mal to guide her down. As soon as her feet were touching the floor, she leaned hard against the other girl, her eyes meeting Mal's own as she pressed her nose to Mal's affectionately.

"You's my best friend," Evie informed her, showcasing all of her teeth in a huge grin as she breathed heavily out of her mouth right into Mal's face. Mal winced, scrunching her nose at the strange smell.

"What happened to you?" Mal asked, surreptitiously trying to blow the stench away from her nose.

"Nothing. I got the spirit of Christmas in my bones," Evie explained herself, giggling ridiculously as she squished her forehead against Mal's own and her back straightened.

"We just had Christmas. It's New Year's."

"I'm gettin' festive early, then. Or is it late?" Mal just shook her head, worried about Evie's wellbeing at this point. Mal pulled away from the goofy girl in front of her and she looked at the cup there on the counter nearby them.

However, when Evie followed her gaze just barely and she noticed the cup, she nearly flipped out altogether. Evie's eyes went comically wide as she wrapped her arms around the shorter girl's form.

"Don't drink it! It's poison!" Mal stumbled backward with the sudden force that Evie exerted in launching herself onto her. Evie was holding onto the younger girl ridiculously tightly as she mimicked that usually comforting protective embrace.

"What is that?" Mal asked, pointing at the cup. She stumbled once again, nearly falling this time as Evie flung herself even more fully onto Mal.

"Don't drink it! It's a hurling puke fest. It's," Evie trailed off, her eyes glazing over a bit as she stared at the empty cup blankly. Mal raised an eyebrow, looking at Evie curiously.

"It's what?"

"_Lemony_," Evie finished in a slurred whisper.

"Lemony?"

"_Lemony_," Evie replied to her shortly, pressing her temple against Mal's cheek as she bent over to meet Mal's height.

"It tasted like coke, but it was… _lemony_," Evie continued, and Mal winced at the thought of it. The drink really did sound absolutely disgusting.

"What was it?" Mal asked her, trying to get an exact answer that could possibly explain what was going on with her sister.

"_Lemony_."

"No! What was the drink called?" Mal questioned, and Evie furrowed her brow, concentrating very hard as she tried to focus on what Mal was asking.

"It was iced tea," Evie informed Mal. Mal shook her head, about to ask further before someone suddenly joined them at the counter.

"Hey, y'all," Uma greeted, strolling over and grabbing a water as she looked at the two girls beside her. She took one glance at Evie before she laughed knowingly.

"She is so wasted," Uma spoke, and it suddenly dawned upon Mal that the only explanation for Evie's actions was that she was completely drunk. The second thing that occurred to her was that Uma had obviously been aware of it before Mal.

"Why would you let her do this?!" Mal demanded, valiantly attempting to keep an intense stare upon Uma as Evie was acting out. Currently, Evie had started poking and prodding at her face gently as the bluenette closely examined her features.

"You are so gorgeous with your cute little nose and adorable dimpley doos. You should really consider being a model… I'm so lucky to have a sister like you," Evie complimented, practically washing Mal with her alcohol-tinted breath. Mal exhaled, surreptitiously trying to blow away the odd stench that definitely shouldn't ever be mixed with Evie's own personal scent.

Evie's smell was entirely unique to her, and Mal found it so comforting. It was exactly what could calm her down after practically anything at all, possibly even more that Ben's strong embrace.

"Woah, woah! Hold the accusations. To be fair, I didn't even see her when she got into whatever she got into. Also, it's kind of funny, so?" Uma questioned, shrugging as if Mal had totally missed everything and was acting like a complete moron.

"Look at her, Uma! Is this funny to you?!" Mal demanded, and Uma shifted her gaze to the goofy bluenette that was currently tugging on Mal's hair and trying to braid it while severely failing.

"All models have braided hair. If I can't braid it, you can't be a model, and that's your dream!" Evie cried out, terribly upset as she looked as if she might break down into tears over the trivial matter.

"No, no, it's okay, E. You'd make a much more beautiful model," Mal attempted to make her feel better about the situation, and Evie quickly calmed herself as she stumbled a bit against Mal.

Uma bit her gum, raising an eyebrow as she gazed at the monster.

"Yeah… When you put it that way, it's still funny! I videoed it," Uma proudly announced to Mal, and the green-eyed girl rolled her eyes exasperatedly.

"Don't post it anywhere, you hear me?!" Mal nearly shouted, and Evie recoiled, her eyes wide as she gazed at the two of them.

"Are you fighting?" Evie questioned, her voice small and slurred as she suddenly looked like a lost little girl. Mal shook her head, taking Evie's hand firmly as she tried to keep a physical hold on Evie so she couldn't escape.

"No, no, everything's fine," Mal reassured her gently, and Evie didn't hesitate as she smiled sweetly and leaned into Mal heavily, pressing a sloppy kiss to the side of Mal's head.

"That's a huge relief. We might have to get- _hic_! Bubble gum to help," Evie hiccupped, and Mal didn't pay her any attention in favor of just staring at Uma.

"What did cause this?" Uma questioned.

"Iced tea according to her," Mal explained shortly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh… I bet it was the very alcoholic Long Island iced tea that Harry brought and mixed to, and I quote, 'spice up Auradon fuddy-duddies,'" Uma pointed out with a grin, jabbing a thumb behind her at Harry who was swinging from a chandelier. Mal's eyes went wide as she set her jaw in irritation surrounding the entire situation.

Uma glanced between the two girls for a moment before sighing, holding her hands up in a placating gesture.

"Look, I'm going to get you two some iced tea. Maybe it'll get her less crazy, and for you, it's a peace offering. I'm going to try to get some of the real kind," Uma requested with only a hint of snark as she smiled lopsidedly at the faerie.

Mal finally sighed, unable to stay completely mad at one of her other best friends. Uma nodded, turning back to go find the proper tea.

"Yo, is this the good tea?" Uma asked the person that was behind the counter, and he gestured in a general direction toward the group of cups on the far right. Uma raised an eyebrow, but she walked over to go look at the options available. There were two different kinds of iced tea, and she didn't have any idea which group was the correct kind. She then shrugged, grabbing two from one group and taking it over to the other two girls.

"Here you go," Uma offered, and Mal took them both from the pirate captain.

Mal handed Evie her drink and Mal downed her medium glass quickly, not really in the mood to sit and savor the liquid despite the fact that she wasn't too terribly angry anymore. Mal coughed, her vision automatically going a bit blurry as she squinted hard.

"My gosh, that is horrible!" Mal cried, shaking her head but quickly stopping after it only served to make her dizzier. Mal blinked hard, stumbling over to the iced teas and grabbing another in hopes that it would be better than the last.

"Don't drink it!" Uma cried out, but Mal had already drank it quickly. Mal gagged and shook her head hard. Uma winced, really hating that Mal had made the awful mistake of drinking that stuff.

"Okay, that happened," Uma awkwardly spoke.

"Oh, that's nasty!"

Mal sluggishly looked over at the two Evie's nearby her and Mal watched Evie as she kept drinking the stuff. Mal furrowed her brow, taking it from Evie to keep her best friend from consuming any more of the disgusting liquid.

"E, don't drink that," Mal scolded, and Evie leaned in closely with a whine as she tried to take her glass back.

So, without a second thought, Mal swallowed what was left with a violent cough, a shudder, and finally a victorious smile.

"I was thirsty!" Evie cried helplessly, and Mal shook her head as she cut her eyes in Evie's direction.

"You've wetted the whistler enough," Mal informed her, hiccupping and suddenly feeling quite giggly indeed.

"Why did you drink Evie's?!" Uma cried out, and Mal looked to the three Uma's standing there before her.

"I couldn't let her drink it," Mal informed the trio of pirate captains before her.

"You could've thrown it away!" Uma desperately exclaimed, and Mal just shook her head, lowering it somewhat as she tried to see things a little more clearly.

"There's no sink," Mal pointed out, chuckling as Evie suddenly leaned against her hard and rested her chin on the shorter girl's head. Mal whined and she pushed her head against Evie's downward force.

"Ouch, dude! Bony chin!" Mal cried, and Evie just snickered dopily in response.

"Better than a fat one," Evie giggled, and Uma rolled her eyes at the two of them before grabbing Evie's arm in one hand and Mal's in another.

"I'm the Queen, unhand me, you pirate!" Mal cried out, and Uma just stopped and glared at her. Mal kept up the glare for a moment more before Evie poked the purple-haired girl's nose.

"Stop doin' that," Mal grumbled, and Uma kept dragging them along.

"The reason I'm pulling your sorry butts out of here is because you're the Queen, smarty," Uma told her, and Mal paused quickly, suddenly looking quite odd indeed. Uma furrowed her brow.

"What're you doing?" Uma questioned, a little worried about what was going to happen next. After a moment, Mal quickly stood up and stumbled forward, nearly running into a concerned Audrey.

"Woah, woah, what's going on with her? Is she okay?" Audrey inquired as Uma repositioned her hold on Mal so that she could keep a sturdier grip on her.

"Evie got into the wrong iced tea, and then they both got into the wrong iced tea that no one knew was the wrong iced tea."

"What's the difference between wrong iced tea and right iced tea?"

"One of them makes you like this," Uma lunged to grab an Evie that was swaying and about to be on the ground, "and the other one leaves you with your thirst quenched."

"I don't feel so good," Mal suddenly declared before very grossly emptying her guts there on the floor right in front of Audrey. It only barely missed Audrey's shoes and the pink princess gaped at the mess for a minute as a strange, high-pitched noise started in her throat. Uma winced, knowing that a screech-fest that was about to occur.

"THESE ARE DESIGNER SHOES! I PAID A FORTUNE FOR THEM!" Audrey screamed, and Uma chuckled under her breath, nodding as she tried to placate the princess. Uma tried to keep Evie turned away from the mess because she didn't want her to get the same idea as Mal had.

If the look on Mal's face was any indicator, Mal seemed like she would be sick again, so Uma took Evie and Mal's arms and started for the bathroom, Audrey's voice growing fainter as Uma left her in the other room screeching about her shoes. Uma pushed through the restroom door, and pushed Evie toward the sink so she could hang there while Uma tried to hurry Mal into one of the stalls.

Mal was currently seeming much greener in the face than her usual pale color, and Uma took the shorter girl's arms in each of her hands as she guided her in the stall carefully.

"C'mon, Greenie, let's not do a repeat of Audrey. Aim for the Lou, okay?" Uma told her patiently, trying to maneuver Mal over the toilet.

However, it was just not meant to be, and when Mal started to throw up again, it landed partially in the toilet and also all over Uma's shoe. Uma closed her eyes tightly, really not liking the sudden warmth coating the outside of her shoe.

When she reopened her eyes, she nudged Mal forward a bit more in an attempt to aim her better.

"Do you think you're through yet?" Uma asked her. Mal just leaned, allowing Uma's hands to hold her back as she rested. Uma took in a breath before gagging quickly.

"Gosh, I don't know what you ate before this iced tea, but it is positively revolting!" Uma coughed, attempting desperately to avoid puking with the other girl. She clenched her teeth, pulling herself together as she regained enough of her wits to make sure Evie was okay.

"How're you doing, Evie?" Uma checked with her other charge. Uma waited a moment, and upon not receiving a response, she furrowed her brow in confusion. Uma leaned out of the stall slightly to see where the bluenette was, and her eyes widened in horror as she gaped at the completely empty space where Evie had just been.

"Oh, crap," Uma murmured, and Mal looked back at her blearily, still very much drunk but seemingly less sick. Uma took in Mal's appearance, and ultimately decided that she had to bring Mal with her and there was no way that

"Okay, we're going to go find Evie."

"Why? She lost?" Mal slurred, looking around as if Evie would magically materialize nearby them.

"She escaped," Uma told her, throwing an arm around Mal as she stopped for a paper towel.

"Here, wipe yourself. You're a mess," Uma informed her shortly, pushing the door open as Mal sloppily obeyed Uma's instructions. The two made it through the doorway, and Uma looked around the party scene desperately, trying to spot a blue head of hair.

"I used to hate you," Mal suddenly announced, and Uma raised an eyebrow, letting Mal talk as she was halfway interested in what the faerie had to say and halfway knowledgeable of the fact that she couldn't shut her up anyway.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah, but you're pretty great when you get past all this," Mal almost theatrically gestured at the pirate. Uma's gaze softened, deciding to ultimately take the statement as the well-meant comment that it likely was.

"You're not too bad yourself," Uma complimented carefully, looking for Evie all around.

Uma raised up on her tiptoes and happened to see Evie in a corner nearby another rather unexpected character- Doug.

She knew that Evie and Doug had broken up, so naturally things were going to be awkward, but she didn't really know the true details of the ordeal. She figured that he was responsible enough to handle the two drunks for at least a moment while Uma went and found Ben.

The pirate captain pushed through the crowd over in the direction of Doug and Evie, and she moved her head so that her mouth was near Mal's ear.

"You see Evie over there?" Mal's gaze shifted about slowly until it settled on Evie carefully. "Good, now go hang with her and you two stay there until I get back, okay? I'll only be a second," Uma assured her, and watched for just long enough to ensure that Mal would make it before leaving the two altogether.

Uma shook her head at the two, looking down at her shoe disdainfully as she looked for Ben.

It fortunately did not take her long to find him- after all, he was a tall boy- and she pushed through the crowd over to him.

He was currently talking the ears off of some group of pastel colored Auradon kids with big smiles and silly hairstyles. In other words, he was currently conversing with the exact kind that Uma wouldn't poke with a ten-and-a-half-foot pole.

"Ben, we got a situation," Uma announced, grabbing Ben's arm as she dragged him away from the group that he was conversing with. His face immediately went from an easygoing smile to a much more serious expression as his mind went into business mode.

"What is it?" Ben questioned, but Uma avoided any sort of response for a few moments. She ensured that they were somewhat out of earshot before leaning in so that only Ben could hear her next words.

"Evie and Mal got into the wrong iced tea." Ben just furrowed his brow in response as he considered her statement and tried to comprehend its meaning.

"What's the difference between the wrong iced tea and the right iced tea?" Ben questioned innocently, and Uma groaned loudly, face-palming.

"What is it with you Auradon kids? Audrey asked me the same dang thing!" Uma expressed her frustration before deciding to explain it once again to yet another goody-two-shoes of Auradon.

However, before she could explain anything, the crowd started to part and gather around one particular scene as an angry shout could be heard.

"Come back here, you chicken turd!"

…

Mal stumbled over to Evie, her eyes only on the bluenette. After all, that was what Uma had asked her to do: go to Evie and stay.

"You know, you really broke my heart when you upped and dumped me," Evie announced, and Doug just looked at her, rather uncomfortable with the fact that his ex with three very threatening family members was talking to him of all people while drunk of all things.

Mal's eyes narrowed as she stopped to see who Evie was talking to.

"I just sat there asking myself: why wasn't I good enough? Was I not pretty enough? Was I not," she paused only to belch loudly, "smart enough for ya?!"

"No, I just-"

"But don't worry. Ma sister helped me through all o' that," Evie informed him with a dopey grin. "She's the best. She's the New Year _Resolution_!"

Mal's eyes widened in recognition as her unfocused eyes finally settled on Doug. Her eyes lit up in a fury that was unrivalled as she came barreling forward to Evie.

"He buggin' you?" Mal demanded, slurring as she came near Evie. Evie smiled widely as she looked at Mal, but she then got a confused expression on her face as her gaze shifted between the two of them curiously.

"I dunno. Is you buggin' me?" Evie asked Doug, and he quickly put his hands up in a placating gesture as he gaped at Mal in horrification, unable to say anything sensible.

"Imma take that as a yes," Mal snarled, not giving him a chance to speak as she pushed her sleeves up and got into a fighting stance.

"C'mon, I always let girly girls hit first!" Mal announced, and Doug's eyes narrowed as he took offense.

"Wait just a minute!"

"Too late!" Doug's eyes went wide as Mal took a swing. He quickly stumbled backwards in an attempt to avoid the girl's right hook that he knew was a good one.

"Come back here, you chicken turd!" Mal roared, furious at the fact that he had managed to evade her. Evie just watched the entire situation with wide eyes and a few giggles in between.

"I told you not to come near her again! Persuasion and reason's comin' your way!" Mal yelled swinging a couple more times as Doug yelped, dodging her hits.

"Woah, woah! I thought I told you to stay, not to sock somebody!" Uma told her, smacking Mal's arm down as she grabbed her wrist firmly and kept her from sending any more punches.

"See, Ben, this is what happens when you get the wrong iced tea," Uma explained to the boy that had just managed to catch up to her.

Ben strode over to Doug, helping the boy dust himself off.

"You okay?" Ben asked kindly, and Doug just nodded nervously as he stared at Mal fearfully. Her eyes glowed green as she offered him a growl. He almost cried out in his haste to escape from the area. Doug escaped quickly as everyone moved to make him a path.

Ben looked around and realized just how many people were watching at this moment. He offered a large grin as he waved at everyone, clearing his throat.

"Hello, everyone. Don't worry, there's nothing to see here. The Queen was just, uh," he paused for a moment, trying to decide the best way to describe it, "settling a few personal issues," he finally settled upon with a light laugh.

"Anyways, continue on in your partying. We will be dropping the Auradon crest in about," Ben checked his watch carefully, "fifty minutes! Wow, only a little while until a new year!"

"But, like I said, carry on!" Ben announced to them all, raising a hand to signal the DJ to continue playing the music. Everyone stared for a moment, but they eventually decided that they would rather dance the night away than focus on the Queen.

"We've got to get them out of here."

"Hi, Benny-Boo," Evie greeted, nearly falling on her face as Ben dove to catch her. He wrapped an arm around her firmly as he stared at his wife somewhat worriedly. However, he couldn't pay much attention to Mal because Evie suddenly started to grab his cheeks between her fingers.

"Hiya, Benny-Boo," Evie repeated, and Ben offered her a slight smile.

"Hi, Evie," he finally answered her, and she smiled so sweetly with such an odd look in her eyes that Ben definitely knew something was not right with her. He cleared his throat, widening his eyes at Uma as he extended his arm to take Mal from Uma.

"Here, I'll take her."

"You sure you can handle her all the way out to the car?" Uma asked him, still trying to keep Mal from swinging at the air. When a runaway fist got just a little too close for comfort, Uma grasped it firmly in her own hand and locked her eyes with Mal's.

"Cool it," Uma instructed firmly, and Mal just stuck her tongue out at her in a manner not dissimilar to a petty, immature child. Ben offered one last glance at Evie, deciding that the bluenette was a little too much for him, before nodding eagerly.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure," Ben agreed. After staring at him for a moment, Uma just shrugged as she traded her beast for Ben's beauty.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Uma offered a final word of warning to him as a very clumsy Evie nearly ran her over.

Ben took Mal carefully, wrapping an arm around her waist firmly in an attempt to keep her still. She furrowed her brow, looking up at him before her eyes lit up in something akin to recognition. Mal laughed under her breath, looking up at him with her tongue sticking out slightly.

"Who do you think you are?" Mal challenged playfully. Ben just shrugged, not really knowing how to answer her.

"A concerned citizen."

"A concerned citizen, my a-"

"Language!" Evie called out suddenly, and Mal immediately grew sullen as she quieted. Ben took it as a good sign that Evie had enough wits about her to keep Mal in line.

Uma just rolled her eyes in response but didn't say anything as she worked with Ben to get them out the door and into the parking lot. It fortunately didn't take them long because Mal mostly stayed quiet until they got outside, and Evie didn't have any major trip-ups.

However, as soon as Evie got out the door, she tripped and fell right into Ben. Ben braced himself firmly, keeping a strong arm around Mal and managing to sturdy Evie against him.

Evie stared into his eyes for a moment, a tiny little smile coming onto her face as she giggled.

"Y'know, I shoulda snagged you up," Evie announced, and Ben's eyes went ridiculously wide as he gaped at the bluenette, disbelieving that she would ever say anything like that. Mal's eyes sluggishly snapped over to Evie, and she gasped.

"Evie!"

"Sorry not sorry!" Evie cried in response, and Uma clapped Ben on the shoulder.

"It's okay. She's drunk out of her mind. She doesn't mean a word of it," Uma reassured him, pulling Evie against her so that the girl was safely between Ben and Uma. Ben relaxed immediately, starting to understand the mannerisms of the drunk in action.

"Not sorry 'cuz I gave up all that princessy business and dreams with Benny for ma bestie, ma sis, ma only Mally-Boo," Evie proudly proclaimed, and Mal's face lit up in a huge grin conveying her touched feelings as she reached her arm out toward Evie.

"Evie!"

"Mal!"

"Awkward," Ben murmured underneath his breath, and Uma just chuckled at his expense as she held firmly to the bluenette.

They approached the vehicle, and Uma opened one of the rear doors of her Hummer so Ben and Uma could stuff them in her car.

"Here, hang on a sec," Uma told him before stepping up into the back of the vehicle and reaching over the backseat to get a blanket to cover the seat and the majority of the area that Evie and Mal would be taking up.

Ben eyed her questioningly and Uma just waved a hand at him flippantly.

"Don't ask why the blanket's here. Gil and Harry are total mess-makers, and I can't have them screwing up my interior in the land-yacht," Uma fondly addressed the car, patting the driver's seat carefully before moving over to the edge of the backseat near the door so she could help the two misfortunates inside.

"Okay, now hand me the first contestant," Uma instructed as she extended her arm.

Just as Evie was about to get into the vehicle, her eyes went wide with recognition as she started to back up as hard and fast as she could possibly manage. Mal just stared at the other girl blankly.

"I can't go back to jail!" Evie cried loudly, trying to run as Ben locked his arm around her midsection.

"What she said! You'll never take me alive!" Mal exclaimed, finally taking action after realizing what was going on according to Evie. Mal started to move so suddenly that Ben lost his grip on her as she took off.

"Run, Mal!" Evie cheered, laughing like a madwoman. Uma hopped out of the Hummer quickly, racing after the faerie.

Of course, it wasn't too hard to catch up to her considering the fact that Mal was significantly slowed as a result of her current condition. She grabbed Mal with both arms, dragging her backwards as she kicked and fought the entire way.

"You're not going to jail! You're going home!" Uma shouted, trying to be heard over Mal's struggling. Mal fought a little less, but Uma attributed it to exhaustion rather than her actually listening to the pirate captain's words.

Uma finally got her back to the car and she looked at Ben expectantly.

"Throw yours in first. It's going to take both of us to put this wildcat in a box," Uma told him, and he picked Evie up effortlessly, putting her in the backseat carefully. She started to fight him, but Ben positioned himself so that his back was to her and he was successfully blocking her way out.

He then scooped up Mal, Uma hanging onto her knees and legs firmly as he put her inside on top of Evie so that they were in a big backseat heap.

"Hi, Mal," Evie greeted with a laugh as Mal carefully attempted to right herself so that she was sitting next to Evie. However, after a moment, she just gave up, resting her chin on the bony part of Evie's hip as she looked at the bluenette that was currently lying on her side.

"Hiya, Genevieve," Mal cackled, and Evie shot her a disdainful glance as she tried to look sophisticated. Mal arose from her laying down position as Uma got in the driver's seat and Ben situated himself in the passenger seat.

Uma cranked up the car and started for the castle.

Ben looked in the side mirror nearest to him as he watched the building grow tinier as they grew farther away.

"Are you sure you shouldn't have gotten Harry and Gil?" Ben asked her, and she just shrugged, shaking her head.

"Nah, I'll come back for them later. Or they'll drag their sorry butts up to the castle. Or they'll wander off in the woods. Either way, they'll be fine," Uma waved away his concerns. Ben raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

However, he did quickly jump when he felt something weird and wet touch his ear. He spun around to see who had done it, and he immediately spotted his culprit in the backseat laughing her head off, her blue-headed accomplice giggling with her.

"What did you do?"

"I licked your ear. Duh!" Mal informed him before falling against her seat, throwing her head back in pure enjoyment.

Ben rolled his eyes at her but gazed at Evie with concern. He couldn't help but notice that Evie looked a little strange as she sat there beside Mal, so he drummed up his courage and decided to ask her about it.

"Hey, Evie? Are you okay?" Ben questioned, and Evie just stared at him, looking a little spacey as she giggled under her breath. Mal had just began to quit laughing and she looked at Evie, her head cocked to the side as she watched her partner in drunkenness.

"I don't feel so good," Evie informed him as she teeter-tottered back and forth from her place sitting behind the driver's seat. Mal pointed at her with a laugh.

"She's goin' down! Timber!" Mal cried just before Evie passed out, falling down in Mal's lap.

Ben shook his head, getting his answer to his previous question.

Uma leaned her arm against the door and propped her head up with a hand as she steered with the other. And all was quiet.

That is, until Mal decided it was a good idea to sing.

It was lilting and pretty, but it was still very slurred and very much drunken as she picked up strands of Evie's hair and dropped them on the older girl's face.

Ben awkwardly looked over at Uma, not really knowing what to say now that he had already addressed the situation surrounding Harry and Gil. He finally decided to just look out the window and hope that either Uma started speaking or they got home quickly.

When Mal eventually reached the second round of her song's chorus, Uma hummed along with her quietly, obviously knowing the tune.

"What's that song?" Ben asked as he jumped at the opportunity, glad to finally have some fresh material to talk about with the pirate captain.

"Huh? Oh, that's just a silly song that the Isle kids used to sing," Uma informed him simply. Ben nodded, resolving to pay a little more attention to the lyrics.

Before long, they had reached home, and Uma pulled up right at the front stairway of the castle so that it wouldn't be quite so long of a walk.

Mal was still carrying on in the back when they had stopped, and Evie was very much passed out still. Uma looked at Ben questioningly, checking to make sure he was prepared to get the two crazies in the castle.

Ben simply shrugged in response, figuring that it was now or never.

They approached opposing sides of the back part of the Hummer and Uma helped Mal out as Ben took Evie in his arms, throwing her over his shoulder carefully. Mal immediately stumbled to the side, and Uma wrapped an arm around her middle to steady her.

The two sober members of their posse met at the front of the vehicle as they started up the stairs. A few times, Mal nearly fell down them, so Uma had to be very watchful to ensure that the girl did not end up cracking her head open.

When they reached the top of the stairs, Mal immediately bent over, and before Uma could even begin to evade it, Mal coated both of Uma's shoes in a fresh layer of puke. Uma winced, swallowing hard in an attempt to keep her own stomach under control.

However, all thoughts relating to that were completely forsaken when she happened to hear Ben chuckling under his breath. Uma shot him a dirty look as Evie suddenly raised her head up, looking around blearily. Her eyes settled on Mal's latest mess and she suddenly decided to follow suit, her face turning green quickly.

Ben closed his eyes, frowning as he felt the sudden warmth on his back. Uma wasted no time in cackling at his expense, enjoying the situation thoroughly as justice was served to the young King for his laughter at her.

"C'mon, let's get these two inside," Uma beckoned, still laughing heartily.

When the four finally reached Ben's room upstairs, Uma and Ben were exhausted, and Evie had fallen into a peaceful sleep draped over Ben's shoulder. Mal herself looked quite exhausted as she barely remained upright beside Uma.

Ben carefully laid Evie on the bed, and Uma shoved Mal firmly, letting her fall onto the bed beside Evie. The two naturally gravitated together, and it was rather humorous to see their sisterhood prevalent even in their unconsciousness.

Ben and Uma stood next to each other at the foot of the bed, reveling in the mess that the two girls were and the mess that they were as well.

Suddenly, the clock behind them began to make noise, and the two looked at its face, noticing that it was midnight. It was officially a new year.

Ben looked at Uma. Uma looked at Ben.

"If you try to kiss me, I'm going to slap the Auradon off of you," Uma informed him quickly, and he just laughed wholeheartedly. She offered a grin in response, her attempt at lightening the tension successful.

"Definitely not thinking of that, I assure you. It's just… Welcome to your first New Year's in Auradon, Uma," Ben expressed, smiling at her kindly. Uma just shook her head at him, a fond smile on her face as she looked at the two drunken girls passed out on the bed together.

"Well, if this is a sign of how the rest of this new year in Auradon is going to go, I guess I'll be packing up for the Isle tomorrow," Uma joked, and Ben chuckled.

"Let's get cleaned up, Beast Boy," Uma told him, patting his clean shoulder carefully as they headed out of the room quietly, shutting the door behind them soundlessly.

…

Evie opened her eyes and the first thing that she realized was that she had a headache that in the history of headaches stood unrivalled to any she had ever felt before. She groaned loudly, rolling over and practically onto something else that was warm and breathing.

The form underneath her grunted and pushed at her until it emerged so it was lying beside her.

Evie didn't have to open her eyes to know that it was Mal laying there beside her. After all, she knew the Mal's little sounds better than anyone. It was an essential part of survival when they were on the Isle.

However, she also didn't have to open her eyes to smell the horrible stench of vomit. Obviously, Mal was starting to get the smell, too, if her appalled sniffs were anything to go by.

"E, what is that stink?" Mal asked, her voice sounding rough and almost hoarse as she spoke. Evie scrunched up her nose, opening one eye carefully to look over at the purple-haired girl. She immediately shut it as the bright light of day practically burned her eyes.

After a few more moments, she opened her eye again, squinting as she adjusted. Once again, her eyes were burned, but it was from the sight that she was greeted with. Right next to her was her best friend. And currently, her best friend's hair was an absolute mess and it was matted in all sorts of weird positions and it was positively disgusting if it had in it what Evie was sure was in it.

"M, you look horrible," Evie told her, and Mal opened her eye, going through the same process as Evie had before opening it fully.

"Good grief, you should see _yourself_."

"What happened last night, Mal?" Evie questioned. "All I remember is sending you over to Ben and getting something to drink."

"Well, you got drunk because you got into the alcoholic Long Island iced tea that Harry brought. As for me, I don't have a clue," Mal caught her up on her remembrance of the events of last night.

They were quiet for a moment before bits and pieces started to come back to Evie.

"Wait a minute… Did I get up on the bar and dance?" Evie asked the purple-haired girl.

"Yeah, you did. It would've been really funny if it weren't so embarrassing," Mal chuckled, but quickly moaned, holding her head in a hand. They were silent for a few more beats before Evie shot up, looking at Mal through squinted eyes.

"Did you almost beat up Doug?!" Mal furrowed her brow, trying to remember. However, when an enormous grin appeared on her face, Evie immediately knew her answer.

"Yes, I certainly did," Mal proudly announced.

Evie paused for a moment, allowing herself time to really look around the room. It was then that she spotted two sets of clean clothes for her and her best friend resting on the dresser a little ways from the foot of the bed. She smiled slightly as she noticed two cups of water and some painkillers next to them.

However, this happy feeling didn't last long and was quickly replaced by disgust and embarrassment as a particular memory came back to mind.

"Did I really puke all over Ben's back?" Evie asked, really hoping that was just a fabricated memory. Mal raised an eyebrow, barely opening an eye as she looked at her mess of a best friend.

"Definitely."

Evie hid her face in her hands, purely embarrassed as she sat there in the bed next to Mal. After a few minutes of nursing her severe sense of mortification, it dawned upon the bluenette that they had awoken to a new year.

"Hey, M, it's a new year," Evie told Mal, lying back down beside her sister as she considered this bit of information. Mal thought about this for a moment before nodding slowly.

"I guess it is."

Evie smiled at her, reaching out and taking Mal's hand in her own firmly as she looked over at the faerie. She eyed her softly and lovingly as she reveled in the greatness of sharing another wonderful year with the people that she loved most.

"Any resolutions?" Evie questioned finally. Mal furrowed her brow, not saying anything for several moments. She finally returned her gaze to Evie with a wry smile.

"Just one. Let's never do this again."

"Sure thing, sister."

**A/N: Welcome to a new year, you guys! May it be filled with good fortune and resolutions that we follow through on. :) At least better fortune than poor Mal and Evie's, lol. I hope you all enjoyed this one! It was the longest oneshot I've ever written for any fandom. I'll be getting back to my usual schedule with **_**Genevieve Labrador**_** soon. I just had to write some cool stuff for the holidays and the new year.**

**Please let me know what you guys thought, and once again, Happy New Year!**


End file.
